Random musings : Freedom

Yesterday afternoon , I returned from work grabbed a pair of scissors and headed straight for the bathroom . Snip , snip snip snip , I had no idea what I was doing but I smiled as I looked in the mirror and watched the hair fall down to the floor . As I watched each chunk of hair make its way to the cold laminate floor , I felt relived. It was reminiscent of cutting off all the dead weight and trouble in my life . Bidding  the dead ends goodbye.  I felt free , I felt liberated , I felt like I could take on the world . 

I am now sporting an uneven short curly Bob and to be honest I couldn’t care less .

It’s funny how it’s the smallest and most random acts that can bring us clarity . My random haircut , highlighted just how much I had to let some things go . Things that were clearly irritating me like the hair I had installed on my head . 

I had a lightbulb moment and realised what was going on with me . 

I once watched a Sermon titled ” What The Cocoon doesn’t tell you ” by Pastor Touré Roberts ( I’ll place a link to the sermon below ) . We all know about the transformation process of a caterpillar to a Butterfly . The cocoon is a critical stage in this process . It protects the caterpillar , while the internal work is being carried out .  The thing about the cocoon is that it’s a very dark , scary and awkward place . A place that brings so much uncertainty . I am currently in my cocoon phase , I have been for awhile . I have been fighting my best friends for like a year and I couldn’t understand why . All my relationships were strained . No one was understanding me and I was frustrated . Life was stagnant and I had no motivation to do anything. I was in a dark place and saw no way out. I didn’t even try to leave or understand it .I just accepted it even though I wasn’t happy . 

 I know it’s time for me to go to the next level . I know God is wrestling with me to mould me in to a better person , but I keep fighting it . I have no idea how to get there. I don’t know how long it will take and I fear I may not make it . 

I’m listening now , equip me and mould me with what I need to elevate to the next level .  I have peace in knowing that everything is for a greater good . I’m ready for that day i break free and become a butterfly , renewed and free to soar the sky . Till then I’m hanging up my ” Do Not Disturb Sign ” and embracing the cocoon phase. 

” The Wings of transformation are born of patience and struggle ” – Janet S Dickens 

Stay blessed , 

Ninz 💜



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