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Random musings : No pressure, No diamonds

 

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Without pressure there would be no diamonds. It’s how you cope with Life’s difficult situations that determine how bright you shine.

I have a diamond tattoo on my right wrist… I always get asked the meaning behind my tattoo and I reply ‘No pressure, No diamonds’. I got the tattoo as a reminder of my strength and worth. Unfortunately, I have recently forgotten this mantra and cracked under the pressures of life.  Every area in my life appeared to be going wrong and I broke down.

Heartbreak led me to start this blog and 2.5 years later I am back here again. Though it’s totally different, it is still the same pain.

If I were to describe my biggest weakness it would be communication. I don’t speak, I struggle to find the words to express myself, and when I do gather the courage to speak I stop. I stop because I just feel like my woes are just not ‘that deep’.  I brush everything under the carpet under the guise of ‘it’s fine’ and ‘I’ll be okay’ and push on with life… The thing is when you keep sweeping things under the carpet; you eventually trip over the pile you created.  It’s these ‘trips’ that lead me to my tough days, days whereby I push all friends and loved ones away and hide. I seek comfort under my covers and Lyfe Jennings singing in my ears letting me know it’s okay to cry. ‘ Ain’t nothing wrong with crying , if anyone says that’s strong , they are lying. Crying, is like taking your soul to the laundry mat. ‘It’s not the best method, but it works for me, well I believed it worked.

I have cried more tears in this last month, to last me a whole year. I feel like, I have permanent vapour rub on my nose.  I am tired, and have vowed to never feel this way again. Today, I have decided to stop running and tackle everything head on and find purpose in my pain. Use this time to really sit down and figure things out. Block out all distractions and use this pain to motivate me, ask God to prune me and mould me in to the woman I am destined to be.

‘What would a diamond, be without pressure? Would the flowers even bloom, without a little rain?’

Life will always have its up and downs.  It’s how you deal with the downtimes that will be your testimony. You could succumb to the pain and hardship and shatter like glass, or you can use it all to motivate you and push for even greater success and shine bright like the diamond you are.

I am revamping the blog, not quite sure of the direction yet but I am praying God leads me. I am currently looking for a website developer and an illustrator/ graphic designer, so I would be most grateful if you could recommend some. You can also hit me up and let me know what you would like to see on the blog.

This downpour of negativity and battles I have faced I am embracing and taking it as the soil needed for me to bloom.

To everyone going through tough/sad times.   I encourage you all to find purpose in your pain, Use this to become the best you, the best version you have always dreamed of. Don’t give up, keep pushing on and remember there will be better days.

Stay blessed.

Ninz

x

p.s check out the below clip of Lyfe Jennings performing cry in the prison where he served 10 years for arson.

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